The Hunt for Chocolate

I am usually a very easy going person. But whenever some sort of competition, or test, or chance to prove myself comes up I become a rabid maniac of focused determination. Every ounce of willpower I possess becomes centered on one goal, and I will achieve it no matter the consequences. This often ends with me being horribly maimed in some way because I will not give up. I'm like a zombie velociraptor on the hunt for baby flesh. Pretty sure I've used that simile before, but I don't care. It's an awesome simile.

Now, add this competitive streak to a lust for chocolate, and you have a powerful combination. I am unstoppable. This has led to some nasty instances of chocolate going missing in my house, and consequently my mother has taken to hiding it.

But hiding chocolate will not stop me. It only brings out my competitive side. I consider it winning to find the chocolate. Beating my mom is always so sweet (ya see what I did there huh? Huh?).

Unfortunately for my mother, she cannot rely on me becoming bored and giving up. I'm a patient hunter, and I play a lot of video games. I've been trained on Legend of Zelda and Resident Evil. I know that you have to search every crack and crevice to find the treasure. Your life may depend on it. Therefore, I will tear my house apart in my lust for chocolate. I'm sure I could accomplish a lot with my life if I put this much effort and energy into actually doing legitimate things, but, well...I don't. So there.

One day, I arrived home from work with a powerful lust for chocolate that had gradually begun to morph into bouncy insanity. And just the previous night, my mom and picked up a huge carton of the greatest chocolate treat ever: chocolate covered raisins.

I have no idea why I love these little Happy Pills. I hate raisins, but I will devour these faster than a starved T-Rex wandering onto a cattle farm. My sister is the same way, and with this in mind I flung open the door to her room, made an exaggerated bow, and requested her to accompany me on a quest.

We made a point of being as loud and obnoxious as possible so our mom would know what we were up to. She ignored us, foolishly thinking that she had hidden the prize too well for us to ever find. She did not take into account our lust for chocolate or the fact that I was in the middle of Skyward Sword and therefore at the peak of my training. Nothing would stop us.

We opened cupboards. We crawled under beds. We even checked the extra refrigerator in the garage. But the elusive chocolate covered raisins did not appear. Finally we made our way to the upstairs living room and began to ransack the cupboards. I started at one end, my sister started at the other, and we met in the middle.

It was like destiny. There was only one cupboard left. We each grabbed a door and pulled it open. We were sure to be as dramatic as possible. Inside, nestled on a bed of old bills, bathed in the golden rays of triumph was the carton of Happy Pills.

Our sudden silence must have alerted our mom to the situation. We could hear her hastily throwing things out of her way in the laundry room as she hurried to get upstairs in time to stop our chocolate madness.

We each grabbed a handful and then spent the next few seconds desperately searching for our own hiding place.

Our mom never found the chocolate. Revenge is sweet.